Things! And Stuff! Moving!

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Uncategorized

Listmaster Lizzie, at it again:

  • We went to the wedding! Pittsburgh was beautiful, super hot and humid, my friends were fantastic as always, the wedding was both super stressful and so much fun, and the Best Man is my new favorite person ever. Also, maybe someday I will write something funny and scathing about how the priest was a flaming DICKHOLE and I seem to be the only person who noticed. But other than that it was great; my friend and former roommate was a “radiant super-bride” – as the awesome Best Man put it – and my other friend and B’s former roommate was a super-tall adorably goofy-grinned groom the whole time.

Kind of crappy cell phone pic of the adorable newlyweds

  • We moved!! About a month ago we convinced one of our good friends from the ‘Burgh to pack up and move out here, so we just found an incredible new place to fit all three of us. After our tiny little one-bedroom, this three-bedroom monster is INCREDIBLE. I love it so much I might even try to clean up after myself or something, and put my clothes actually inside the HUGE closet that I get all to myself instead of in various floor piles. We’ll see! We just moved most of our stuff in this weekend but once it looks all pretty and put together, hopefully there will be pictures.
  • While the place is AWESOME, our first full day here we already got a ridiculous passive-aggressive note from the “Home Owner’s Association” taped to our door saying that they saw the rolls of bamboo fencing that we had just sitting on the balcony and that “balconies are considered communal space” and the bamboo would “NOT be allowed” and that if we did put it up we would have “24 hours to remove it” or they would fine us or something. (Seriously, there are passive-aggressive notes about all the way you can and will be fined for stepping out of line here, it’s outrageous. I guess that’s why we got such a good deal on this nice place.) Obviously, I wrote a passive-aggressive note back in my best Bullshit-ese telling them “YES we know, we read your page-long set of guidelines about what we can and can’t do here or have on our balcony, and we *just* moved in, and the stupid bamboo is just being stored out there on the FLOOR of our SECOND STORY balcony til we can actually throw it out so CHILL”. I just *barely* refrained from pointing out the multiple and glaring spelling and grammatical errors in said guidelines, but whatever. Trying to be the bigger person here.
  • Oh, we also went hiking. Totally gorgeous.

Pretty field hiking near the UCSC campus

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Exhibit A:

No, thank you.

Exhibit B:

YES, PLEASE.

Conclusions: Turns out I’m not a pedophile. Cool.

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Super Orange

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Uncategorized

image

Pretty flowers on my lunch break walk. Summer is lovely.

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My brother – who is pretty kickass – was in Sacramento last week to finish up his beer school. By which I mean he is now a certified brewer of delicious alcoholic beverages. (See? Kickass.)

We went out to hang with him for a little while and WOW is Sacramento lame. This bridge is in “Old Sacramento” – or “Old Sac” as all the signs referred to it, causing us to make many an inappropriate joke. It’s made to look like an old mining town and was cute for maybe an hour or two. The only other exciting part was when we took my brother to BevMo, the giant chain booze store.

Moral of the story: Don’t go to Sacramento.

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Oh.

Hey.

I’m sure that everyone (by which I mean my one friend who knows about this blog) has been extremely worried that I haven’t posted anything on this godforsaken scrap of internet in what, months?

REST EASY, NICOLA. I’m trying desperately to find something in my life that is interesting enough to write about. It is probably going to end up being some emo rant about how I am a huge procrastinator and never finish anything I start and that if I could just get my act together maybe I could try to be a real adult. (Either that or pictures of my cat.)

Case in point: this blag-o-blag right here. This is not a surprise. See bullet #3 of my first defeatist post.

In other news, I got a new bike!

Bike!

A few things about this bike:

A) It is a mountain bike. This is awesome if I were one to go careening down a mountain in the woods on something with wheels, but NO I am not one to do that. Ever. But the super-intense shocks are fun when I go over speed bumps.

B) I live in Hippie/Hipsterville, California. Meaning that everyone and their mother is riding around in thrift store clothes/American Apparel leggings on their sweet, super light-weight “fixies”. (If you’re not in on the hipster lingo, “fixie” means “I am so cool that I only need one bike gear and no brakes”) This also means that me and The Beast up there don’t necessarily fit in.

C) In case I haven’t mentioned it enough, I am short. Like, REALLY short. Which in bike terms translates to “Haha that sucks they don’t make road bikes small enough for you” which then colloquially is “Here is your child’s mountain bike which is black and lime green. It also comes with a bell. Enjoy!”

D) IT CAME WITH A BELL. Ok, so that is awesome and made me squee a little. Also, BITCHES BEST GET OUT MY WAY or I will totally ding my bell at them. (That sounds a little dirty. It’s not. I will cut them. With my bell.)

I also rather obviously discovered Picnik, since I am woefully bad at PhotoShop, etc.

Things I am ambitiously planning to write about maybe sometime at some point if I feel like it/get up the guts/get over my emo defeatist self over how it doesn’t really matter/stop watching bad TV on Hulu and Netflix:

  1. I still read books! And I have read quite a few of them lately and the overall consensus on that is AWESOME
  2. Seriously, the TV I watch? OUTRAGEOUS. If I get up the guts to come clean, it will be both funny and sad – since I don’t actually own a TV, this is the stuff I choose to watch.
  3. I am kind of sort of trying to be a little bit healthy/exercise at least a little bit. Two words: HOT YOGA. Three more words: KILL ME NOW
  4. I am already spazzing over my friends’ (yes, plural possessive, I am good friends with both of them) wedding in July. In Pennsylvania. Hooray! but Oof.
  5. And then probably some sort of long-winded thing that is basically the same thing I’ve said again and again about how lost I am in terms of life/work/friends/California.
  6. Pictures of my cat!

Yes, I make the cat take sweet MySpace pics with me.

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How to Give Your Boyfriend An Accidental Crewcut

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Ridonkulous

(Alternate title: Epic Hair Fail)

Surprisingly, he is neither mad at me nor in the military.

Step One: Be on your day off, and thus in your pajamas melting your brain through bad tv on your laptop all day

Step Two: When boyfriend is (correctly) shaving his own hair, don’t really pay attention when he asks you to “help” by “cleaning up the back”

Step Three: Erroneously infer that, based on the very long pieces you see in the back and by the fact that you usually do “clean up” this part using the same length attachment for the rest of his head, that this is what he means

Step Four: Don’t look at the shaver at all so that you do not notice that there is in fact NO attachment at all on it, because he meant for you to shave the very bottom of his neck

Step Five: Go to town on one big strip up the back of his head with said shaver with no attachment

Step Six: Recoil in horror at the pseudo-Vanilla Ice swath in his head you have just created

Step Seven: Freak out. Cry. Cry more when boyfriend starts to laugh. Protest “It’s not funny! It’s horrible!”

Step Eight: Calm down. Resign yourself to the fact that your boyfriend is going to look like he just got drafted.

Step Nine: Try to make the back look somewhat like the horrendous shaved strip and try to leave the top as long as possible without making him look like an eighties heartthrob.

Step Ten: Take pictures, and hope that his hair grows really really really fast.

Yeah...I'm an idiot. And also, obviously, a Photoshop pro.

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I Feel Better Now

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Uncategorized

Because I decided that even though I am pretty poor and can really use all the money that I have, I am a big girl now and need to actually act like an adult in the sense that world problems are also my problems and I should maybe stick my nose out of my self-involved little bubble every once in a while.

By that I mean, the guilt finally overtook me and I donated to the relief efforts in Haiti. And I do feel better! It was actually pretty painless. One of my main problems was that I am very very skeptical and untrusting, so I wanted to make sure that I knew where my money was going. Apparently Wyclef Jean is known to take money from his own charity? I’m not sure how true that is since I saw it on Perez Hilton, but that’s the kind of stuff I am worried about.

So I was talking it out with my friend this morning in light of the HUGE aftershock that just hit Haiti today, and she sent me a link to a tshirt site where 100% of the profits (apparently) go to relief efforts in Haiti. I like shirts, so I was totally on board for that one and, being jaded, I also donated to the Red Cross so that I knew for sure that I might be kind of sort of helping a little bit.

I hope.

I don’t really know what else to say about how terrible it is, and how am I maybe just a teensy bit worried about the nearly identical ginormous fault line that I now practically live on top of. I’m glad that there is at least a huge response among governments and loaded celebrities, and I hope that the gestures and donations being made actually translate to real help for the people of Haiti.

Whew. Well, tune in next time for your regularly scheduled self-involvement.

/serious

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lacuna

I’m a total book nut, and a rather indiscriminate one at times. My sole criteria for purses is that they be big enough to hold a book. Libraries and bookstores are total heaven. So, of course, when I profess such a thing, the first question I am asked is, “Well, then – who is your favorite author?”

And usually this question does catch me. I waver in my assumed bookish-ness, and question my devotion to the printed word. Crap…who is my favorite author?

Then I remember Barbara Kingsolver.

There aren’t enough good things to say about Barbara Kingsolver. I cite her as the author that helped me to transition from “young adult fiction” to really great contemporary books. I’ve been a fan since the 5th grade, when I stumbled upon The Bean Trees in our rented vacation home on Martha’s Vineyard. My aunt still brings up the exhaustion of having to try and read it faster than I did to make sure there weren’t any inappropriate parts for my grade-school mind. There weren’t, and she loved it, too. (Sidenote: Barbara is classy and so are her love scenes, if there are any even mentioned. Also, I’ve always been a reeeaally fast reader, my poor aunt.)

Kingsolver’s books are just… good. They are real and intelligent, and incredibly engaging. She brings her own life experiences to her works in ways that even people who have never seen the Arizona desert, a Native American reservation, the jungle of the Congo, or the mountains of Appalachia can relate to. Even her non-fiction work prose has such beautiful poetic language that never feels contrived or over-the-top. 

More so, Kingsolver herself is cool and interesting. She started her college career on a piano scholarship, and ended it a biology major. And now she’s an author. Awesome? I think so.

Her website says, “She now lives with her family on a farm in southwestern Virginia where they raise free-range chickens, turkeys, Icelandic sheep, and an enormous vegetable garden.” Again – awesome? Totally.

Anywho, the crux of this fangirl rant is that as soon as I saw that she had come out with a new book recently I was lusting after it. Especially when I saw that it was primarily set in Mexico, with Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. (Have I mentioned I am a hispanophile? Droooool.) Also, this is another aspect of how awesome my homegirl Barbara is. While you can definitely see the common themes that run through her works, each one presents it in a totally new way, in a new setting with new circumstances. She’s leagues away from authors that seem to write the same book over and over again.

It’s called The Lacuna and I was a good girl this year so I got it for Christmas. I just finished it (really, like an hour ago) and it by far lived up to my expectations of awesomeness. I said before that I am sometimes an indiscriminate reader and this is true. My outlook as far as media goes is usually that the purpose is to entertain, and it if entertained me – whether by being really good or by being hilariously bad – then its purpose has been fulfilled and I am happy. However, I definitely make a distinction, especially with books. I think there are books, and then there is literature. And what Kingsolver writes tops the list of contemporary writing that I consider literature.

The Lacuna is no exception. First off, I loved the presentation. The story is told by way of the journals that the main character kept from his boyhood in Mexico onward. (Luckily for the American reader, they’re in English.) But this is no ordinary diary-style story. The journals themselves are being presented by another character, whom you come to know in the story, and she has her own say a few times, which adds to the depth and flavor of the whole thing. More important is the character depth and development that come from the main character’s own words. He wants to be a writer, and is a writer, which is evident from the first entries of his pre-adolescence. What is so striking both in reading and as far as the development of the character himself, is that the story is presented almost as if he is not a part of it. There is no “I went to the beach today. Then I had lunch” sort of narration. From the get-go the protagonist acts as a narrator, telling his own story as if he is a spectator – which he is for most of the story. The reader ends up experiencing the story as if they are the protagonist as well, not as if they are simply hearing what happened to another person. 

Besides the actual writing and presentation, I was obviously enamored with the whole idea from the start. Mexico? Ooh, tell me more! Frida Kahlo? Homegirl made unibrows sexy, so obviously. Diego Rivera? Yes, please! Mexican and American history presented in a way that doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyeballs out? Heck yeah! I wasn’t disappointed there, either. I’m just as convinced as ever that I need to go to Mexico and I loved the descriptions of the people and culture. Especially poignant, though, are the parts of the book set in the states. The main character goes back to the States in the midst of the peak outpouring of patriotism and sacrifice from the American people in World War II efforts. After the war, you see vividly the complete reversal of ideals as the Cold War comes along and the paranoia of the American people fueled by the overzealousness of the government cause major upheavals for the characters. Having a pretty good inkling of Kingsolver’s political views, I do think that this theme of blind panic and extremism, as well as media exaggeration can be seen as a little jab at the current political and media frenzy over the war on terror. Ok, I am super bad at politics so I will not even get into this, but I think we can all agree that us being attacked is bad. But the crazy crazy crazies on Fox News proposing essentially unethical, unconstitutional, and racist measures in the name of “defense” is a little out there. Whatever, all I’m saying is that looking back on the nuts-o politics and unethical, unconstitutional and racist measures that were taken during the Cold War makes you wonder how future generations will look back on how we are acting now. And I think that is probably a theme and correlation that Kingsolver means to be gleaned from The Lacuna.

Whew. Well, I was no literature major (wait, well, technically I was, but it was Hispanic literature, so I only ever had to analyze in Spanish…whatever) so that’s about all I can really say without devolving into straight-up fangirl “squee” action. Go read it!

More Kingsolver that is so so so good:

  • The Bean Trees: First book of hers I read. Wonderful, amazing view on different cultures within our own country.
  • Pigs in Heaven: Sequel to The Bean Trees. Just as good as the first.
  • Animal Dreams: Small-town Arizona, Native American culture, and awesome
  • Homeland and Other Stories: Beautiful short stories.
  • The Poisonwood Bible: A missionary family trying to survive in the Congo. Incredible.
  • Prodigal Summer: Interwoven stories in Appalachia. You never knew that nature could be this sexy.

(I still need to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which promises to be both really inspiring and somewhat depressing, as I do not own my own farm off of which to live completely organically for a year with my family.)

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This is Why I Moved to California

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Uncategorized

Tasting on the tour, originally uploaded by TizzieLizzie.

While my family was visiting over the holidays, we took an amazing trip up to Napa to visit Frog’s Leap winery, and it was basically the best thing ever.
I wrote about just how awesome it was here

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Banana Slug!

By TizzieLizzie | Filed in Uncategorized


Banana Slug!, originally uploaded by TizzieLizzie.

The fam came out for Christmas, so we took a trip to a redwoods park nearby, and came across quite a few ferocious examples of the UC Santa Cruz very intimidating mascot: the banana slug. My mom hadn’t believed they were a real creature til she saw this sucker, zooming along the underbrush. (She was also confused, as there are not any bananas here. Until she saw the actual slug and realized that it just *looks* like a banana)

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